Summer came and went too quickly for me and suddenly I’m now a week and a half into my second year. This time last year I was still trying to figure my way around campus and settling into lectures. this year has been a completely different and weird experience. It’s kind of difficult to put my finger on exactly how I feel about this year but here goes nothing.I’ve been a tad bit apprehensive about this academic year. My depression kicked off around this time last year and it was really at its worst. And, whilst I haven’t focused much on it, it’s hard to completely clear it from your mind. It’s been a little scary to go back into uni at this time of year and remember how things spiralled. But there are such massive differences between this year and the last. I feel so much more comfortable and confident about uni in general, I had a solid group of people who I count as really close friends and I just feel like I’m going into it all with a lot more positivity.
There’s just been a general worry about my degree going into this year. I did try during my first year but it feels like there’s a lot more riding on the next couple of months. I can already tell from the first few days that things have gone up a gear in a way that I wasn’t completely expecting. I love my degree and it’s why I want to do well in it but my ambition sometimes scares me and it’s what’s caused the worry about going into my second year.
Aside from the apprehension and worry though, I’ve been excited. My love for the field that I’m going into has only grown over the past year. My modules this year look amazing and we really are specialising into our engineering disciplines now. Last year was a lot more general engineering and as much as I did enjoy it, it’s nice to really be able to delve into then specific subject that I’m interested in.
I’m throwing myself into a lot more this year but still trying to make sure that I don’t burn myself out. It’s a really fine line to dance on but I’m slowly getting there. I’ve loved being busy over the last week and a half though, As tiring as it can be, I love filling my days with things that I enjoy and care about. And it’s doing wonders for my mental health.
So, am I scared? Yes. But do I have hopes that this year is going to be a damn good one? Definitely. I can’t wait to see what my second year in uni brings. Here’s to it being a good one.